Your bicycle has a gun rack. You think heaven looks alot like Daytona Beach. You consider a 6-pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. Someone asks you for I.D. and you show them your belt buckle. Less than half the cars you own run. Directions to your home includes "turn off the dirt road...". You've ever used a weed-eater in your home. You've made a hot tub with a trolling motor. You use your mailbox to hold up one end of your clothesline. Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people. You have a tatoo that says "MUTHAR". Your family tree doesn't fork or is a circle. Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined bya ceiling fan. You have a rag for a gas cap. Your brother-in-law is also uncle. All your four letter words have two syllables. You've ever been too drunk to fish. Hitch hikers won't get in the car with you. You prominently dislpay a gift you got from Graceland. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. You can spit without opening your mouth. You consider "Outdoor Living" deep reading. You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy. You think Don Perignon is a mafia leader. You've ever driven your camero into the top of a tree. You have more than two brothers named "Bubba or Junior". You get an estimate from the barber before he cuts your hair. Going into your bathroom reminds you to stop off at the Exxon. If going to the bathroom involves boots and a flashlight. You see a sign "say no to crack" and you pull up your pants. You've ever carried a beer to a job interview. You walk your son to school because you're in the same grade. Your wallet and your dog are on a chain. Your party dress is strapless and your bra ain't. If your luggage are 5 piggly-wiggly bags. You go to a family reunion to pick up women. Your family is big enough to road named after it. You've ever been acused of lying through your teeth. You smoked during your wedding. Your house is on wheels and your car is up on blocks.y You have more than than three refrigerators on your front porch You mow your lawn with a bush hog. You think the stock market is where you trade your pigs. You mow your lawn to get to your car. You have to climb a tree to watch pay-per-view. You have to climb a pole to turn on your lights. Your signature is one letter. Your deputy sherriff has "Earl" monogrammed on his sunglasses. Your deputy sheriff has "Earl" monogrammed on his sunglasses. Your dog rides in the front and your woman rides in the back. You "DIDN'T put the pink flamingos in your yard for a joke. You hit a bump in the road and loose half of your possessions
